So this is the fifth time I’ve upgraded a Mac on OS X. I’ve gone from Tiger to Leopard to Snow Leopard to Lion to Mountain Lion. Not all on the same Mac mind you, although one of my older work MacBook Pros (which I will also refer to as MBP(s)), has gone from Leopard to Mountain Lion (which I will also refer to as ML), so anyway … that machine and its siblings in my keep, will have had four different versions of OS X and three upgrades.  

[UPDATE: writing these updates about two weeks after the Mountain Lion 10.8.1 update came out and essentially whatever magic was in that update, worked for me!  My MacBook Pro is running better then ever].

I turned Mac about six years ago on a white MacBook running Tiger and I was astounded and amazed my first upgrade oh-so-many-years ago going from Tiger to Leopard. And I continue to be astounded by the crazy notion that you can install a major OS upgrade, not lose anything in the process, not have to type in a crazy long key code, only have one re-boot, and be done within an hour. It’s part of turned me into an Apple fanboy.

This time around, I’ve upgraded 3 machines to Mountain Lion (as of this post) since ML came at the out end of July. Two have been 4-year-old MacBook Pros and the latest is a year old MBP. All these upgrades went smoothly. Two went from Snow Leopard to Mountain Lion, the other went from Lion to Mountain Lion, specs listed below in order of upgrades :

• Snow Leopard to Mountain Lion – MacBook Pro 15″ Early 2008 / 2.5 GHz Core 2 Duo / 4 GB RAM / NVIDIA GeForce 8600M 512 MB ( upgraded the afternoon SL was released, I’m a fanboy!)
• Lion to Mountain Lion – MacBook Pro 15″ Early 2008 / 2.5 GHz Core 2 Duo / 4 GB RAM / NVIDIA GeForce 8600M 512 MB
• Snow Leopard to Mountain Lion - MacBook Pro 15″ Early 2011 / 2.2 GHz Quad-Core i7 / 8 GB RAM / AMD Radeon 6750M 1 GB (my current work machine)

The two older MBPs, seem to be working just fine, no discernible issues at all, zippy as ever, nothing crashes, all good. Other then a bum SuperDrive on one, I think these old guys will last forever. My only issue has been on the newest MacBook Pro, my main machine of course …. But, thus far I believe this stems more from the accumulated gunk in my account than ML per se. My OS X account has been transferred between two diffenent MacBook Pros and has gone through at least two OS X upgrades accumulating log files, caches, preferences, left-over bits from deleted apps, etc., etc. So I decided to use CC Cleaner to wipe out years worth of these accumulated log files and caches after the upgrade … and may have gone too far … and maybe should’ve done that before the upgrade eh?  

[UPDATE: Yes, using CC Cleaner and cleaning a bit too well was a mistake, but luckily having a Google account and signing in to Chrome to restore things helped as did, as it always does, Time Machine(!).  I was able to restore a number of preferences and misecallany by copying over from my Time Machine backups, fixed many things and was reminded that maybe being too clean isn't really such a good thing  ;-)]

On my 2011 MBP I find my boot-ups and shut-downs to be uncharacteristically slow, but once it gets booted, this machine works very smoothly and I’ve had no problems at all. I’m maybe going to experiment with creating a new admin account for myself and see if that makes a difference … Need to look into this though because OS X of permissions issues transferring documents and files from one account to another, but thinkin’ about it … I’ll post if I do. And anecdotally, it seems to charge its battery much faster now.

[UPDATE:  I did indeed create a new admin user account and was in the process of slowly moving files over to it.  I was finding that initially I had slow boot and that apps and the mouse cursor would freeze and disappear for a second or two, both noticeable and frustrating, but I wasn't having that issue as much in my new admin account.  Then I went on vacation for a week and let my MacBook rest and when I came back, booted up, first thing it did was install the 10.8.1 OS X update and voilà! My MacBook was running better then ever  ... I will note that one of my suspicions of the freezing behavior I was plagued with was due to Outlook or Exchange, but I could never seem to pin it down.  Apple's  notes for 10.8.1 update state that it will "Improve compatibility when connecting to a Microsoft Exchange server in Mail." Well it seem to do that and just make everything else run smooth as silk too.]

Also on my 2011 MBP I run Windows XP & Windows 7 in Parallels 6 which does not work with Mountain Lion, I’ll need to upgrade to Parallels 7, so that’s that. And I have a Boot Camp partition on this machine running Windows 7. I had created this partition in Snow Leopard and now under Mountain Lion it work just fine. I’ve had no problems on my Window Boot Camp side of this Mac, a bit of kumbayah luv between Apple and Microsoft … so far …

[UPDATE: Did indeed upgrade to Parallels 7, and again upgrade happened without a hitch, was able to activate both my WinXP and Win7 virtual machines, no problem with the addition of now having my Boot Camp Windows 7 install also accessible via Parallels 7.  I've gone through 3-4 upgrades of Parallels and am always impressed how smooth they go and how they keep making the virtual OS experience work better and better.]

So far I like Mountain Lion. It seems a nice refinement to Lion, as Snow Leopard was to Leopard. I knew enough about Lion to know what to tweak in Mountain Lion: the silly upside down scrolling; adding the Save As menu; finding my Library folder. And I’m excited by the new dictation features and the iCloud integration as I use my personal iPad for so many presentations now at work. So in all, another successful upgrade, but I may be shopping for an analog paper calendar in the meantime.

Calendering… Which I knew would an issue, but I upgraded anyway

I use Exchange in Outlook 2011 for my work calendar. And I’ve been using an Outlook 2011 On-My-Computer calendar for my personal calendar. Thus I can look at one calendar in Outlook 2011 and see both my personal as well as work appointments and it syncs nicely with my iPhone too. In Snow Leopard my Outlook 2011 personal calendar synced with iCal and then with my iPhone via iTunes, sounds convoluted, but it works! Or rather worked …. In Mountain Lion, iCal is now Calendar (to match iOS) and that syncing ain’t going so well. So <sigh> … I may have to switch my personal calendar to iCloud, wait for some luv, or at least détente, between Apple and Microsoft to make Calendar and iCloud work with Exchange and Outlook 2011.

Now how did Palm get calendaring and syncing so right over a decade ago(!) while Microsoft with their Exchange and Apple with iCloud can’t seem to work out quite that same efficiency? I never had serious calender or syncing issues in Mac or Windows on my Palms! It’s 2012 for goodness sake! Okay, so maybe not exactly Mountain Lion’s fault as an OS, but certainly enough blame to go around here for both Apple and Microsoft. I guess I could try getting Google calendar to sync with Exchange and iCloud and my iPhone and my MacBook … Is it too much to ask, really!?

[UPDATE:  Switched my personal calendars to iCloud, kept work with Exchange/Outlook (don't really have a choice on that <LOL>), I turned off Outlook's sync with Calendar on the MacBook and I don't sync my iPhone or iPad with MacBook at all anymore (other than for a backup). I depend on syncing through the clouds of iCloud and Exchange and I'm a happy happy camper.  Apple's Calendar app syncs with Exhcnage, so I can see my work and life calendars in once place in my MacBook in Calendar or on my iPhone or iPad on the Calendar app.  On the mobile devices I just needed to activate an Exchange account and that calendar will then appear in my Calendar app.  It's simple and elegant and works!]

The original post was created using Blogsy and iOS 5.1 Dictation on my iPad

Posted with Blogsy

I get it home and start to put it together via the non-verbal Lego-like instructions, and everything seems pretty easy, but it seemed weird to me that the wheels (casters on stems) didn’t push all the way in and the tops of the casters weren’t flush with the bottom base of the cart.  The wheel casters were pushed in as hard as I could and seemed secure, but didn’t seem right.

I used it twice like this and it worked fine, but after the second load I looked more closely at the instructions and sure enough it seemed to indicate the wheels should be pushed in all the way, no stem from the caster showing (and photos online confirmed this).  And I could tell by the molding on the bottom that the rear wheels were suppose to lock in place if pushed all the way in.  So I tried pushing and pushing to no avail.  Tried to pound down on the wheels with a rubber mallet and with nail set and a hammer pounding on the caster base … and in all only worked up a nice sweat.

So I decided to cool off mentally and physically use the handy interwebs and see if anyone else had a similar issue and a trick to make this work.  I tried You Tube, Google, the Rubbermaid site, and out of desperation, Bing!, but all to no avail.  Eventually I went back to Home Depot site and sure enough, there was one review complaining of the same problem and how he used a 1×1 piece of wood angled on the caster base and a hammer to pound those stubborn wheels in place.  So back I headed to the basement to try and find something similar to use on my casters and when I happened upon my can of WD-40 … “why not?”

Sure enough, one squirt of WD-40 in each wheel’s hole, used my thumb to hold caster in place after an initial push down, a few knocks with my rubber mallet and they all slid in perfectly flush. Be aware that the two rear wheels lock in place, so line up before you start hammering.  I posted my WD-40 solution to the Home Depot site too hoping it helps someone too.  I love this kind of serendipity.

Kudos to the always handy WD-4o

Find Rubbermaid Triple Trolley Model FG4401 at Home Depot ($69.97 – Sept. 2012)

Haven’t written here for quite a while, partly because no news is good news, partly because I don’t want to think about cancer if I don’t have to. But it sneaks up on you anyway and today I feel like I have to get it all out.

It is the first of our two-year cycle of a every 3-month MRI & CT scan my daughter will get to make sure this cancer that has a high re-occurrence rate doesn’t reoccur … It’s a reality that is rather unwelcome after being in a “let’s get back to normal” bubble the past couple of months. Her hair is growing back although still short like a marine recruit, but soft as down. She is relishing being a student and doing very well in school. I suspect she likes school work partly because it makes her feel normal again too and it is something she can worry about but, still have some control over. She has energy and humor and she likes being with us and us with her, she and we are pretty happy just being.

But being back in the hospital again, even with the nice nurses and lab techs and anesthesiologist, reminds you how badly you don’t really want to be there. The waiting waiting waitng doesn’t help either just more time to think and even endless rounds of Angry Birds doesn’t really help.

And when the nice recovery room nurse says “we hope we don’t have to see you again,” it’s hard for me to reply for fear of choking myself up, because we will see them again. Every three months for the next two years. And then every six months and then annually …

…

On a lighter note, another thing I was reminded being back at the hospital today is that Au Bon Pain’s coffee and cinnamon buns look better than they are. That turkey club sandwich is still quite good, the coffee and cinnamon buns are just OK. I’m writing this to remind myself and save myself a few dollars and useless calories in the process.

Again, I wish I never had to know about the pros and cons of the food choices at the hospital. But it’s one of those weird and quirky things I now know because I have a kid with cancer and have spent a lot of time there.

As has been said in many other reviews, countless times already, the screen is amazing. And it really is. It’s what you were hoping for all along.  A bright sharp screen where pixels don’t exist.  And where every word is sharp when you tap to edit with the magnifying glass. As much as I liked the “2,” the blurriness of the magnifying glass editor always bugged me. The lack of any textual blurriness also makes this new model of iPad possibly the penultimate e-reader on the market right now. I might actually read a whole book on this thing!  (and a month later I did! -me)

Another thing that surprised me, was how good the built in dictation is. It is really very good and I like that it’s just integrated in to the keyboard whenever possible (app dependent). The only downside is that it’s embarrassing to use the dictation in public and be seen talking to your iPad … Although I suspect it will seem less weird as time goes on and there are more phones with Siri-like voice activation, everyone will be talking to everything.

So I’m writing this post on said new iPad and gotta say, that yes, I’m very very, really, very glad I moved up from the “2.” I am starting to see the iPad as a possible replacement for a laptop. I’m doing all my presentations for workshops on this thing now, I luv the fact how easy it is to carry around (1.5 lbs. vs. 6+ lbs.), as well as the instant-on when hooking it up to a projector.

Upside:

• That beautiful screen, it is really gorgeous.
• Crystal clear magnifying glass for text edits.
• Snappier processor, apps start up/switch very smoothly.
• Improved multitouch, or at least due to the better screen and processor, using all the 3 & 4 finger swipes to navigate screens and apps is really becoming efficient (although you could chalk that up more to iOS 5 then the new iPad).
• The camera … It’s quite good, but I haven’t spent a lot of time using it yet, although eager to do so. What I need is a a tripod mount as basically it’s like holding an view-camera, really hoping someone makes something like this soon.
• Battery life still quite good, almost amazing. The new iPad does seem to burn down to 50% power much quicker, but does still seem to take a very long time to burn all the way down.
• And the white iPad seems even whiter? Putting my old iPad 2 next to my new iPad you could definitely see the difference, and my old iPad was only 5 months old and it wasn’t like I was leving out in the sun.

Downside:

• Longer time to a full re-charge, presumably due to a bigger battery to recharge and power that beautiful screen.
• Slightly thicker and heavier than the iPad 2, but it is very slight increase in both categories.

Regrets:

Sorta wish I had bought the 32GB model, because, as other reviewers had predicted and noticed, that new gorgeous screen resolution translates to apps that take up more precious disc space to make them look gorgeous, not to mention the high-res magazines and e-books and videos. I’m finding I need to keep an eye on space management more then I did on my iPad 2 or on my iPhone 4.

Also wish I had just bought this new iPad for myself and not have sold the old iPad 2…. Which i did use to finance the new ipad purchase, but none-the-less … I’d been meaning to post this for over a month, but other than when I use this for presentations for my work, I never see it, my girls always have it!

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It’s funny I haven’t posted for over two months and since the successful operation removing her softball size tumor (although I have been “posting” my reactions and thoughts in my head all along). I should have been elated yes!? But even though the surgery went exceedingly well and was done in 3 hours as opposed to the projected 8 to 10, it was hard to celebrate when you’re watching your daughter react badly to morphine and the recovery is a minor ordeal in and of itself.

After optimistic hints from the surgical team that we would have clear margins, the tumor had come out “cleanly” and intact, the plastic surgeon and hand specialist who were on call were not needed and the amount of muscle taken out due to the proximity of the tumor or in the margins was minimal, so functionality of the hand and arm was expected to be near normal. There was a lot to worry about with this operation to say the least … we find out finally(!) a week later that the margins all came out clean … and a sigh of relief … coupled with the let-down of the pathology being indecisive about the effect four rounds of chemo and a round of radiation actually had on the tumor (we went through all that for what?). Although the tumor was intact and did not metastasize indicates that all this treatment had some positive effect (right!?) … It all could have been so much worse or so many gradations of worse.

Yet, still hard to get happy as we are then reminded that the protocol still requires three more rounds of chemo, so we were initially looking at early January as the end of treatment. But, knowing as well all along that you’re never really done, she’ll have a lifetime of CT scans and MRIs to be sure it never comes back … or another type of cancer strikes (as happened to my mother/her grandmother), so in the back of our minds we are very aware that it never really ends … all part of the over-arching “Cancer Sucks!” theme here.

Thanksgiving is in the hospital for Post-Op Round One of chemo, so not exactly festive, even though the donated turkey dinner is very welcome and good. And we have a second T-day dinner at home with her grandparents after being released from the hospital. Again not exactly festive as the conversation isn’t exactly a fun-filled catalog of the past year’s delights … but interestingly the end of November and early December does turn in to happy time.

My daughter is in very good spirits, hence the quote-title of this post. Her wound and arm heal rapidly. It looks like she will have nearly full movement in her arm and certainly has full functionality of her hand. I’ll be surprised if there is even any need for rehab, so I think this plays in to this feeling of general goodness lately. We just like all being together, seeming to relish the uniqueness of it, given the tumult of the past five months. We just liked being for a change.

So the girls pool their saved b-day money and buy a little pet Roborovski or Robo hamster (I typed out the breed because I know we will forget what he was in distance future), whom for reasons I can’t comprehend, they name Joseph, which seems unnecessarily formal for a hamster …so to their annoyance I call him Joe. Just an example of why it was so nice to be “normal” for a change.

Prepping for Post-Op Round Two of chemo did put a dent in it all as one would expect. One of my last bonding moments the weekend before my daughter was off to the hospital again, was shaving her itchy head with my new beard/hair trimmer. The new rounds of chemo was making her hair fall out again … but, it made her happy to have a buzz cut, she’s very practical about all this. So yes, on one level it was appalling sad to have to shave my 11 year-old daughter’s head because she losing her hair due to chemo due to cancer. But on the other hand seeing how she was handling this in a matter-of-fact practical way made me really proud of her and proud of her strong psyche through this. OK, writing this now and thinking about it is emotional and is reminder of the suckyness of this whole situation.

But, the goods news, coupled with the ever-necessary bad news (third round of chemo postponed until after surgery to remove two minuscule spots on her lungs in early January, one of which we knew about already, but are apparently they’re right next to each other and they don’t what they are, but chemo hasn’t made them disappear and our oncologist even said that CT scans are so detailed now that they find all sorts of benign things all the time, but surgery is still the best option just in case, especially since the effect of the chemo on this type of tumor seems to be minimal).

Anyway, good news … she and my wife make it through another 4-day hospital stay on the preferred oncology wing with the great nurses and familiar faces and finally(!) a nice room-mate family. Which again is one of those “people are amazing” things in terms of both people’s goodness (this case) and people’s awfulness (got a whole laundry list of that for another time). So my younger daughter and I spring them early Friday evening which coincides with the weekly the Friday-nite pizza party for oncology patients, one of those “lucky” coincidences of her Tue-Fri treatment schedule. Everyone gets home happy, the girls are elated to be with each other again, and excited by the twinkling Hanukkah display on the mantel and that it begins next week (and happens to include eight nights of presents ). The pug is elated and relieved that everyone is home. Everyone is exhausted, but glad to be in their own beds with no IV pumps beeping in the background … just street noise and random barks from the pug’s crate for no apparent reason …

This past Spring I was researching and searching for a video camera that had a Firewire (IEEE 1394) connection and would work with Ustream for streaming workshops and meetings for my workplace.

Along the way,  a friend who works for A/V services at UMass-Lowell, told about their beloved Canon Vixia HV-30′s that have a Firewire port.  Unfortunately that model is no longer made by Canon and the used ones were going for a premium at the time.   But on the Canon website I discovered that the Canon ZR960 does sport a Firewire connection, listed as IEEE1394 in the specs.  And I noticed that Canon’s successor to the HV-30, the HV-40 had a ton of inputs so maybe a Firewire too???

A thorough review and great photos of all the features of the HV-40 are at Camcorderinfo.com.  This was the one place that actually talked about and showed a picture of the HV-40′s Firewire port (next to it’s HDMI port).   For some strange reason Canon does NOT mention the  HV-40 FireWire/IEEE1394 port in it’s own specs online … I guess HDMI and USB are the selling points, although neither helps you stream with a service like Ustream.

I have successfully used the HV-40 on Ustream with two different models of MacBook Pro and a Lenovo ThinkPad.  All three of which took a different pin-sized Firewire cable of course!  But, essentially the HV-40 works fine with computers that have either Firewire 400 or 800 (or on older MacBook Pros, both!).  You do not need to be recording with tape when you are streaming, the Ustream Producers software sees the HV-4o immediately and you are good to go.

Hope this post helps folks, like me, trying to figure out what camcorders will work with Ustream.

After much hemming and hawing whilst trying to figure a good all-family solution, but especially for our oldest when she’s getting chemo and as she’s recovering from surgery (see Cancer Sucks page).

The choice was between a 11″ MacBook Air, but the base price gave one pause … or just jump on that iPad bandwagon and save a little money, but after buying cases and a Bluetooth keyboard and apps, not sure I saved that much after all

And my thinking is that the iPad 2 is selling so well, why does Apple even need to bring out a new model this Spring!?  I kinda think that they will do what they did with the iPhone, the first four version came out yearly every June, but the 4S came out a year and a half later this Fall, so my theory based on nothing other than my marketing prowess (hah!), is the iPad 3 comes out next Fall along with iOS 6, etc, etc …

So we decided to just do it this weekend Black Friday sales be damned!  And did it even though the iPad 3 may come out this spring or summer, but that’s what Gazelle.com is for (successfully sold my old iPhone 3G there and got just enough money to buy Modern Warfare 3!).

So paid full freight, and because we wanted instant gratification didn’t go re-furbished ($50 off at online Apple Store), although with some foresight on this purchase, I would have.  And nope, no state/local govt. employee discounts either (Apple Store guy chuckled at that one), but hey it goes to a good cause right?

• WiFi – figured I could tether to my iPhone if need be and wifi is everywhere … except at the last two places I just had meetings …
• White w/ lime green Smart cover  - my girls preference, I vetoed the pink cover
• 16GB  - because it was cheap and looking at usage on my iPhone and my work’s iPad, I knew it would be video that would fill it up and don’t own that many movies to load on it anyway, that’s what Netflix is for (or was for …)
• Apple Wireless keyboard  - because some school and work work will be done on it, luv that lil’ keyboard!
• Incase Origami Workstation keyboard case – it’s a two-piece solution, but this case/stand is pretty darn neat.  Tried out a Logitech Fold Up Keyboard, a snap-on folding keyboard thingy, but it made the slim elegant iPad too bulky, too hard to remove, and it covered the back camera(!).  See/buy the Incase here: http://store.apple.com/us_epp_67909/product/H6353ZM/A
• Apps …broke down and bought Pages and Keynote (useful for school and work work) as Google Docs doesn’t really work well on the iPad, Office Online doesn’t work at all … really guys!?  You think this tablet thing is a passing fad!?  But Wait!  All the apps I’ve already bought for my iPhone also transfer to the iPad, those that have been optimized for the iPad will install the iPad version, pretty cool!  Of course you still are required by law to buy Angry Birds HD anyway as the iPhone version doesn’t look anywhere as good on the iPad.
• HDMI video out w/ iOS 5 – yep it really works, you need the special $30 adapter dongle (and a HDMI cable), but you actually see your “desktop” of apps, it shows horizontal or vertical, video goes full screen immediately, Safari works with it … wow!  just like a laptop <LOL> … this been the holy grail for training iOS, and I already luv using Keynote on my work’s iPad for presentations, now I  just need to travel to workshops with a 48″ LCD TV

Luving it!!!!!  But, can’t use it right now as my daughter is watching Annoying Orange on YouTube

http://www.eclectic-ware.com/Eclectic-ware/Lenape/Re-Place-A-Bar/re-place-a-bar.html

Sounds like a great kid thing to do, you know, try to learn how to write with your other hand … for kicks, neat trick and all …

For my daughter this may be a reality in a month … I mean it will be reality after surgery.  She’ll probably need physical therapy, her right arm will be sore … And I also mean she may have no right hand, or arm for that matter.   I don’t think she knows this is a possibility and our understanding is that this is an absolute worse case scenario, but then again our whole last 4 months have been a worst case scenario as far as we’re concerned, so there’s that.

We’re at a break in treatment before the long awaited surgery to remove this damn tumor, our mantra is “get it out.”  But we have weeks to go before surgery, her body needs to heal from radiation and 4 rounds of chemo … she’s tired, we’re tired.  Sick and tired of living with this, tired of not being able to get to sleep at a decent hour because you can’t get the worse possible scenarios out of your head … and they get pretty bad … still dis-believing that your daughter is bald and a cancer-kid … It all takes an emotional toll on you.

And yes that’s a cliche, but again, these past 4 months have been full of all of them: take each day as it comes; take one day at a time; be thankful for what you have; it is what it is; question authority (e.g. your doctors); be a good patient advocate; god is dead (that’ll be fleshed out for a future post, my road to atheism <LOL>); and live each day to it’s fullest …  yeah, we would, but we’re too friggin’ tired …

Hey, lets end on an up note!

Does she still have a great giggly laugh? Yes.

Does she still have a sly sense of humor?  Yes.

Is she still a speed reader, plowing through her library books and Harry Potter websites? Yes.

Does she still play nicely (as well as bicker) with her younger sister? Yes.

Is she still a great little girl that is taking this incredibly unfair intrusion into her very young life in stride? Yes, yes she is …

Parent – Dad (what I was thinking): … uhhmmm, well … how about you save my daughter’s life!?

Parent – Mom (reply in reality): … gives a gracious even-toned reply to start the conversation politely, so as not to start off on the wrong foot, and so that the surgeon does in fact help save our daughter’s life …

Thus started a long awaited meeting a week ago with the surgeon we’re hoping will rid our daughter’s body of this damn cancerous tumor.  Nice… But the meeting did get better and the lead surgeon in question here did warm up to us and laid out, as much as is possible at this point, what the surgery might entail worse case to best case.

And a shocker!!!  Especially in light of my previous post on surgeons and specialists … the surgeon and the intern actually touched our daughter’s tumor!  They checked her arm’s motor functions and strength, and actually took a physical look and interest in what they were dealing with.  So bonus points there!  On the other hand they are orthopedic surgeons, so one would suppose a physical exam of their patient and the effected area might just be a good idea before cuttin’ someone open.  I’m no medical expert, but just a thought …

So, ya think surgeons actually go to any sensitivity training in med. school?  Or does the whole “god complex” thing just so overwhelm their psyche that they don’t even see their own arrogance?  Kinda guessing the later … On the other hand cutting living people open, especially children, has got to take a toll.  Maybe this arrogance is a mechanism that keeps them sane and let’s them do their job.

I’m just being nice, utilizing my 3 credit hours in Psych 101, as well as years of pop-psychology from Donahue and Opera, and doing my darnedest to give these surgeons the benefit of the doubt.   ‘Cause I kinda need our surgeons to their very best darn job ever because my daughter’s life is at stake here.

Man, being a parent and not being able to “fix it” yourself really really really sucks. I can not emphasize this enough.

The other thing that is so frustrating is how in this amazing age of technology and online instant everything (including this blog), it still comes down to people actually talking to each other to communicate.  We’ve lost count how many times we have had to re-tell our daughter’s story to a doctor.  Even though they are all on our multi-specialist “team” and there are computers in every room with access to our records (right?) and iPhones are de rigueur for every doctor (guess the are filled with Angry Birds apps and there’s no room forEpocrates?).  I guess it’s nice to know that no profession has cornered the market on efficiency and communication.  And at this point telling “our story” is just kinda rote and we expect it.

Well, this is an uplifting post huh?

Let’s see: arrogance; inefficiency; helplessness … nice depressing trifecta there

But really, I’m having a nice peaceful (and cathartic) moment writing all this.

I’m at my daughter’s hospital bedside.  We enjoyed a delightfully filling dining extravaganza from the Au Bon Pain in the hospital lobby (see previous post on my favorite ABP sandwich), while watching an equally delightful iCarly episode together, and now she’s chit-chatting with her friend on her cell phone catching up on the school cafeteria’s menu options (all weird and gross, including plastic cheese!) … just like any 11 year-old girl … all the while I hear the hum of the IV machine dripping Ifosfamide in to my daughter.

Sometimes it’s just nice to be. Even if it’s the cancer ward in a children’s hospital.

And after all the ranting above, I do feel obligated to point out that the attending nurses and doctors on call in the hospital are again, amazingly kind, sensitive, and competent.  If you’re going to get cancer, this is the place to be.

But, I still really wish I didn’t have to know this first hand.